1 Timothy 1:19 - Intimacy, confidence & impact

1 Timothy 1:19 - "May they give you the confidence to fight well in the Lord's battles."
Philippians 1:14 - "many of the Christians here have gained confidence and become more bold in telling others about Christ. "

I think on of the most impacting messages of Frontline Retreat for me was given by Rob Beech's wife (I know, I really should know her name). Throughout retreat, from even before the first meeting there were two things God was doing in my heart. I started to desire to:

• strip away the clouds that stopped me from being intimate with God
• rise up in leadership and become an agent of change and impact

It was this particular message that for me really tied things together. I walked away from retreat on fire, passionate for the things of God, ready to take any leadership opportunity by the throat (or other delicate parts of the human anatomy), and in general desperate to plug into God and change the world.

What was the connection? That intimacy leads to confidence, and confidence leads to influence. Sure, intimacy also leads to influence, but in reflecting this morning on how I've been changed as a result of the retreat, I've started to realise the huge role of confidence in our spiritual walks. So often I don't want to pray because I feel I'm not good enough for God. Even more, I don't step up into the things of God leadership-wise because I don't feel it's my right. Retreat helped me to realise that I'm a leader, and that God can cause things to happen through me. And the possibility of being an agent of change in people's lives draws me to God, because I know that only in his strength can I achieve anything. There is purpose in drawing close to God - He is the source.

Other changes from retreat: I'm focusing on God and his Kingdom a lot more. I feel capable. I feel more loving towards people. There's a sense of purpose and energy in my week.

God, I don't want to loose that feeling and perspective.

James 1:4 - God is after growth in my life

2 Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. 3 For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.

It feels like I've been going through a lot of stuff recently. To say I'm being stretched would be an understatement. Sure, there is victory as well, but with all of the arrows I've been dodging recently I'm beginning to feel like I'm the main protagonist of a blockbuster action movie.

So yesterday, I'm praying to God. "God, I need revelation for you, and it needs to be good because it's going on my blog." (Huge shout out by the way to my only subscriber at this point - you know who you are :)) And God speaks to me - James 1:4.

To be honest, it was a bit of an anticlimax because I've already got that verse memorised. But I diligently read the chapter just to make sure I'm not missing anything.

I think what God is trying to highlight is that with all of the stretching I'm going through, God is there. In fact, he might even have a hand in it. God is so committed to my development that he will let me be exposed to a variety of troubles just to get me to grow up. He must love me a lot...

Afterwards, I have another fragment of scripture going through my head - "so you may grow in faith, strong and vigorous in the truth you were taught" (Colossians 2:7). So there's definitely a theme.

It's always good to know that God knows what's going on and has a purpose in it.

Genesis 3:7-10 - Men and their fig leaves

7 At that moment, their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they strung fig leaves together around their hips to cover themselves. 8 Toward evening they heard the LORD God walking about in the garden, so they hid themselves among the trees.

9 The LORD God called to Adam, "Where are you?" 10 He replied, "I heard you, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked."

I'm a fan of John Eldrege. He writes good books. You should read some of them.

One of his sayings I'm fond of is that in order to understand man, you don't need a PhD in Psychology - all you need is to take a good look at this verse and understand the consequences.

You see, men (since the fall), have this fear within them, all of us, that we're not good enough, that we don't have what it takes, and that it's just a matter of time before we're exposed as imposters. In the back of our minds, imprinted on our DNA perhaps, is this memory of the fall, haunting us. We stuffed up. We let Eve have the forbidden fruit directly in front of our eyes. And we now doubt any of our abilities.

So we have historically resorted to two strategies to hide our ineptitude (perceived or real). Firstly, a lot of men hide. "I heard you, so I hid" (v10). We avoid any situation whatsoever in which we don't feel comfortable. I for one will do anything to avoid group sports with other men. I would rather not have a cold water tap for 6 months rather than try and fix it myself. I am forever battling against procrastination and inertia. I get paralysed with fear at times. Men hide to avoid being shown up as fakes.

Secondly, we put on fig leaves (v7). I was doing lunch with a friend of mine the other day who asked me why I have done so many degrees. Only thing is, she actually already knew the answer. My degrees, my qualifications, my displays of academia, are nothing more than very expensive and time-consuming fig-leaves. If I have enough qualifications, I will be viewed as competent (or so I've been thinking all these years). For other men, their fig leaf might be their professional persona, their sporting image, etc. etc. etc.

What's the solution? Good question. In short, spend time with God, and with other men who support you. For the long answer give me a call. :)

Welcome to my blog!

Hi all,


Due to popular request (seriously), I have started my blog! This will consist of my daily reflections on my Bible reading; what God has been saying to me, and what amazing revelation I've received.

This has been designed to perform 4 functions:

1. Be interesting to read - hopefully you will get something out of this blog by reading it daily.
2. Provide accountability for my reading - if you don't see a post for a while, you can safely assume I'm not reading my Bible and am well on my way to backsliding.
3. Hopefully provide some motivation for you to read your Bible. As they say, the best way to find your appetite is to what other people eating. Consider this your opportunity to watch me eat.
4. Provide food for the sermons I intend to preach later on. For those who don't know, I've started a preaching circle. Let me know if you're interested (although we're at the perfect size right now).

You will make my day if you leave comments!! Feel free to do so.

Much love,

Steve


P.S. The profile photo is not me! Sorry to disappoint. When I get a decent photo of myself I will put it up.